Lord recently you said to me, that I need to always remember that you love me. Today my body is twisting my soul and my mind, I feel like I am losing control and I wonder where this will end up.
It’s snowing again and I guess that’s why I’m feeling this way sitting here in this apartment waiting… waiting for what? Nothing that i know of.
I think I understand the desperation and dejection people go through now. I’d like to go back to work, but my body says NO ! I’d like to be around my kids but (they have lives of their own.)
I’d like to eat about 10-15 eat-more bars but I’d have to go buy them and the 100 yard walk to the store would be like a mile today.
My pacemaker probes feel like they are stabbing into my heart again today, I guess that’s what they should feel like, and Lord I have a million unanswerable questions about my life, and what I should do now.
The main thing is still the main thing though the main thing is to trust in you, (like Job did when he lost everything in His life.) That He said of you “Though he slay me yet will I trust him.)
I can’t look around and see can’t look ahead and see any bright hope for a future, I can’t look and see anything but the oncoming winter which always make me suffer so severely. Think of that Hubert while you think of the Government of Canada deliberating as to whether they should allow me a pittance of a pension since I am 6 years too young ! I’m sure that my assurance to them that had I been able I would have worked to the day of my demise, means little to nothing to them as does the fact that I worked for the money they are keeping from me. Lord you know that If I don’t receive they are thieves. and I do remember the vision of you flailing them with the flat of your sword!
Hear me Lord and answer me, as I sit here looking out the window pining away in wonder. amen
Hubert Rondeau
Yes sir photo borrowed online
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