Some things you need to know.

In a world… a world where we all have acquired full and instant knowledge about EVERYTHING under the sun “just ask us”  In this world, in reality the world of presumption and pride, There are some crucial facts that those in power, I refer to the real powers not the token visible. There has been since the beginning of the industrial age a total conditioning and indoctrination of us all.  That indoctrination has spellbound all of us in North America and indeed most if not all of the world. That indoctrination has changed you and your entire life and perspective from your very childhood regardless of your current age.

The conditioning has engulfed the masses, and all the peoples including the Christians. I often wondered and pleaded with God to know why the Church (term used loosely) why the church was so indifferent, vague, and shallow, nothing like Christ has intended. and why there is no apparent “Holiness” in these churches. The Bible says “without Holiness no one will see the Lord”. No one will get it !

Well I have a mountain of information which is very revealing, but not for the faint of heart. Begin with the series from YouTube, The Century of self. watch all of the parts, try not to fret on any point, but get the whole scope of the message, that message… that we began to be human farmed in the 1920’s. please watch all the parts.

Now I,m hoping that you have watched them all, and I know that you are beginning to see as you have never seen before.

Next: The Exploding Auto immune epidemic, by Dr Tent. Again another resounding wake-up call to us who either knew everything there is to know,  or to those of us who cant figure anything out at all about this bazaar world or the lives we now live. Listen to Dr Tent as he unfolds the world in a view you have never imagined before.

 

Thirdly, now have a look at the current efforts by the Elites on Human farming and Global control, the Documentary Frankenskies. Im not a teacher, but I needed to know what was happening, and what was killing my body. So watch Frankenskies. and begin to look up daily until you truly see.

 

You may be wondering why I a preacher of the salvation of Jesus Christ would dig so deeply into these things, well personally the Lord told me to go back in order to go ahead. That going back meant to find our true roots. Truly I am old enough to remember a different day maybe it was the LAST day of the days when people had a sense of intrinsic value and worth, that value which brings you to tears when you see a glimpse of it being displayed as rare as it is in this world today. It is indeed a different world and we are the new herd, not so new because the herding began in the 1920’s

Lord Jesus  Give each one who reads then follows through with the videos much grace and understanding. You said in Daniel that in the last days knowledge would increase, Let it be that multitudes would come to this revelation, and that we would wake up to see what has become of us all. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray amen.

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A new day

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So here we are its 4:00 am  I’m wide awake and hurting again, actually I’ve been awake most of the night, trying to sleep as much as I could.  Is this Fibromyalgia, is it Something else?

I’m at a place where I’m not so sure of myself anymore not that I ever really was. So I’m up at 4 am, so I wish my life would change and that the pain and all the other aspects of this disease would just simply vanish.

I remember the Days of Old The Psalmist David cried, I meditate on all thy doings, I stretch out my hands to you. One thing I asked that will I seek that I may dwell in your house Oh Lord! All of my Days All of my life that I might see you Lord. Hear me O Lord hear me when I cry Lord do not Hide your face from me, you have been my strength you have been my shield and you will lift me up.  THIS  is my hope, this is my only hope from childhood I have had this disease, from childhood I have lived a roller coaster life of anguish, of intense anxiety, of guilt and shame of a mind not stable or grounded in love.

One thing I ask O Lord one thing I seek that I may dwell in your house… Not my house but your house, your house is wherever I might be at any time, your house is world wide and visibly invisible to men of this earthen world.  Your house can be entered by your children at any time day or night we need only to abandon the charms and trinkets weights and worries of this place wherein we dwell.

I will enter your gates with thanks giving in my heart I will enter your courts with praise. I will say this is the day that the Lord has made, and rejoice for you have made me glad.

there was a time in my life O Lord when I would write and you would come sit with me as I wrote, you instructed me as I  sought the keys to form the words my heart was searching to express. Lord, Paul said in Romans 10 that your gifting and callings are not taken away, that we have those gifts as gifts not earned and we have them for life.

My handicap and the turmoil anxiety and stresses of this life have made me fall face down in this gutterous world this modern mayhem of a society which is so jaded that performance and status seem to be all there is to life, and I cannot keep up.

I need the one thing that a man after your heart only needs ‘rest’ to rest my hope solely upon you and to have no other hope dream or desire whatsoever.

Lord I come to you today, with a simple prayer to pray, in everything I do let my life Oh Oh Lord praise you. Praise you praise you let my life praise you…

Open the eyes of my heart again forgive me of my sin and my wandering ways, My God you know they only added to the pain, the loneliness and the shame which I have already suffered. Restore unto me the Joy of thy salvation and renew a right Spirit within me.

 

Hubert ROndeau

Dec 20 2017

Just a quick update for now, but I’m hoping to begin blogging again within a few short days. its amazing how off track a person can get in this life, I had wondered why the Old testament writers so often confessed their sins to God, I had always thought them all to be perfect.

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November 25 was a harvest day for me, this was the first moose tag I had drawn in 8-9 years.

 

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My entire strategy was to pray to God for an opportunity to harvest a moose, I messed up twice and that was a long story in itself.

But on the 25th I confessed to God that I messed up and asked for one more chance. I believe He answered and as a result I did get my Moose. “Thank you Lord!”

 

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Fibromyalgia… Yes I have it and its chronic in my case. I have just begun to seek disability as my life is getting much harder, and I am struggling more and more to work. My first dream was to serve the Lord when Fibro took me down the first time 15 years or so back. Now it seems like we are headed down the same road again but in much harsher ways, its almost terrifying on certain days. I pray Jesus, forgive me, and somehow please use my life whatever is left of it for your glory and purposes, I have found nothing better to live for than you on this earth. amen

 

Hubert Rondeau

Loneliness sound

 

You ever catch yourself getting a coffee or making food at the kitchen counter and realize that you are listening behind you for a sound….? Like a loved one coming close to hug you or something?

I found myself doing that this morning again and it left an ache in the bottom of my stomach like a deep mourning, as I realized how alone I am in this world.

Then I heard the the Lords Spirit saying within my heart that this loneliness, this understanding was what he wanted me to realize. That in this place of seeming abandonment and nothingness…. He would bring fullness and comfort. For when we are at the bottom and there is nothing left, then He can come in like a flood with tenderness warmth and comfort with the love of GOD.

Then we are complete in Jesus Christ… Then He is our life our All in All.

When I was a child I used to listen behind me like this…I’d listen to be ready for an attack from behind, and I’d be ready to run. It seems to me that some people in my life saw me an easy open target for their evil!

My God have mercy on me I’m older now…. I need you more each day.

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Hubert Rondeau

 

Arrrg! Mybrofyalgia!!!

The beast…

-Its 1:24 am i’m sitting on the couch having gone to bed earlier, somewhere around 10:00.

I fall asleep easily the problem is I wake up just as easily, tonight that was the way it went, asleep by 10:05 and awake and in agony by 10:15 in extreme pain that made me think I’d lose my mind. Tossing and turning tearing at my arms and legs ever astonished at the amount of pain a soul can endure and not lose it completely. Finally about 11:00 or so I fall back asleep only to re awaken at exactly 12:05 in the same torturous pain.

I got up went to the washroom and back to bed only to wrestle with this beast till about 12:45, fall asleep and again shortly after 1:00 am be violently awakened by the pain monster within me once again. This time I get up, I’m frustrated, sad and broken hearted and minded. I made some coffee and sat down to try to wrestle my head straight. Sometimes that’s pretty hard.

Earlier last evening, I should have figured it; I was in the fibro – zone, crazy thing this is, but my head was clear for a few moments and I could see my life as a whole in ways I normally can’t.  My kids are all on their own now, Jesherin has moved to the City with Hailie, a month ago, and that sank in hard today as I realized that “this is my life”, big house, empty house, alone, alone as alone as I have always been in this carcass.

My life passed before my eyes in many ways, as I remembered things from my childhood, things that made me want to die a thousand deaths inside, things that I could never put into words though I could live a thousand years twice over.

Why? My God I have shuddered in asking why? Its all such a big confusing mess! and  the pain, and the mental aspect of the disease never go away, and though I look  “fine!”  and smile all the time I’m rarely okay.

When I woke up the last time at 1:00 I was hearing this song within my heart. ABBA from the 70’s  Abba means Father.

Treat Him Well He Is Your Brother… you might need his help one day, we depend on one another love him thats the only way. On the road that we go we all need words of comfort and compassion…

love him that’s the only way.

So I realize the life I have lived has been in a very real sense so very handicapped, so filled with loss pain anxiety, stress pain and shame, I sit here often times bewildered.

Bewildered yes too bazaar for understanding, what next, what should I do where should I go…. Looking for drugs… that won’t work, suck it up “Son-shine!” as I have heard so many times, yes I have done that and I do that every day, have for years, and years. and nobody knows how bad it gets.

Treat me well if your my brother you might need my help some day.

I was at my new gunsmiths residence recently he did some work on my rifle, installing a muzzle break as I have become recoil sensitive in the last year or so. My Shooting brother Joel  got in there and instructed the gun smith to redo my barrel and action and they had it engraved as well.

Thanks Joel!

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Its kinda pretty now, but when I was talking with Steve the Gunsmith I was having a very hard time speaking, and communicating with him, I was very embarrassed, and ashamed, I told him about my condition, and how it affects me, and we continued our conversation. Steve told me his cousin has fibro as well and he knows a bit about it, but that he doesn’t talk to her much. before I left I suggested that he talk to her, and said one thing we fibro sufferers desperately need is love.

Like the song says “love him that’s the only way.

Who knows James chapter 2 may be right when he says the poor and the weak have the greater gift of faith, and maybe when we are loved, some of that greater gift will rub off onto those gracious enough to extend to us some mercy after all.

About the video:  The song speaks an eternal message;

On the road that we go in we all need words of comfort and compassion, treat him well he is your brother.

Back to bed Hubert! It’s 2:30 am!!

Hubert Rondeau

Fibroman An Update

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Who needs sand to hide your head when you have Fibromyalgia anything will do

It’s okay to laugh.

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I saw a split photo once upon a time depicting a very pretty young woman with fibromyalgia  showing when “We see her V.S.  when we don’t.When Fibromyalgia lets its grip on her go briefly and she could be “Normal”  I so related to that photo,  though being anything but pretty or cute or sweet myself. What ever that matters I don’t know.  So here are a couple of my  Bad moment photos V.S. a couple of Good moment photos.

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Oops I guess I have only one Good moment photo on my laptop  so it will do for now. The bad moments need no explanation, the good one on the other hand was on a day when well I felt well enough to shoot this target at 1200 meters, that was a good day.

Recently I tried a couple of weeks of Massage to treat Fibromyalgia, bet everyone out there knows how that went, it went well as long as the therapist was massaging me / no that’s not quite true though. Some points in my legs were so bad she had me crying (okay I hid it but I was crying for real!) I couldn’t believe She found places in my good leg that hurt as much or worse than my bad leg,  I know fibromyalgia is supposed to be equal on both sides of the body, but what if your body in not equal on both sides and you have had some serious injuries on one side or the other,

So I’m indoors almost all weekend  so different for me, but right now the Alberta snow pack augmentation / Spray them all till they are dead Program, is on in full swing since the first of October or just prior to that. Between Edson where I live and Robb where I work we have had two weeks of British style Fog as a result ! Talk about Alberta weather modification/ climate control. Don’t believe me, do some solid research, google  Alberta weather modification or two or three such queries.

Back to Fibromyalgia Hubert Rondeau style hmmm what to say, the disease has ruined everything which it has not precipitated,  likely I’d never be a blogger, not have really learned to read without the desire 1. To seek Gods face via His Holy Word, and 2.then the gifting and calling  to attempt to write words, poems, and short stories in and for his honor.

Like I could do such a thing as that eh?

This evening I decided to have a shower, while standing there the hot water pouring down my back and the back of my legs  my muscles went into convulsions and cramps that drew a fairly loud shout Aggh aggh ouch ouch ouch ow ow…   from the deepest parts of my soul. Nearly buckling, but then regaining my composure I realized that the water was no hotter than at any other time, I retested it and made sure I wasn’t scalding myself, that’s easy enough to do too. Funny thing about this disease, I can take as much pain as anyone else maybe more in many cases,. I have dealt with this for so long that I’m  getting close to being invincible.

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Just Pretend Superman has a bandaged head to offset that black hair okay? Oh and no way I’m wearing a cape either!

Shower done, I came out of the washroom to find that it had gotten dark during my time therein.I turned on the lights as I walked to my bedroom suddenly realizing that within a few months Jesherin will be going away to live in the city and from then on I will literally be alone like this … forever… The thought wasn’t appealing, not even warm and fuzzy, but I have been there for a very long time now, and like the pain of the disease the pain of the loneliness and abandonment, and the solitude it often brings is pretty gross to put it mildly.

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So I borrowed a couple of things online to help me make my point!  I used to write all the time, I wrote SERVANT, PIERCED, STORM, THE PALACE, THE ROCK , and one other book which I cannot remember the title of… Huh! Nice huh?

Maybe if I weren’t such a loser I would have been a writer, and gone on to victory!

Woe! but, my victory  was two minutes ago and it will come again in a minute or two because, that’s how we live!  I lost most of my work, I’m sure I still have parts of my books  and a lot of my poems too, and  I sent over 100 poems to a site called Worlds Last Chance and they are published there under my name.

Am I lamenting my life? Well, I think all Chronic illness sufferers go through all the processes of loss mourning anger and so on to some degree every day. The reason in part for that is  we live in a different time frame than the rest of the world, and our memory, and memories are  as shattered and scattered as our lives tend to be. Its still October 2013-2014, and 2015, in my brain as much as it is 2016 in yours. We seize up, we get lost, we break down we get out of touch and out of focus, and we lose ground, and the world carries on as if we were invisible, and often rips us off as it runs us over!

Nice world Not!

So Here I sit laptop (on my lap) of course, thinking “I wonder if anyone will even read this?” No-one reads my blog anymore. Sure they think I’m nuts, this is only my 5th or the 10th blog site I have had in 7-10 years, and I deleted through frustration and guilt and shame  MY BEST WORK EVER!  because back then I had only ingested a few hundred pounds of Chemtrail fodder!

Oops I think I  said a bad word there.

I guess I’m trying to apologize to my  Fibro family because our testimonies are the only thing that keeps us going at times, many times I have watched your youtube stories and after an hour or so of identification with you in your sufferings I somehow feel better, not better as in  “healed”, but I know that I am not alone, and though I haven’t got a close friend in this, anywhere near me, most of the time I do have brothers and sisters who if we could be together would absolutely bear each others burdens, and give each other the love we all so desperately need.

Love you all!

Hubert Rondeau

Note: Superman stuff borrowed online too