So today September 18 18, Yesterday I went out with my Bow looking for a Moose, I had some rifles along and ended up shooting some water filled milk jugs a t 614 yards. Well I enjoyed that very much and although I didn’t see a Moose I did happen to drive up on a large Grizzly Bear. Sometimes it nice to be in your truck ! I came home and rested, having a fair day. But when night came, the tables turned to extreme. I have fibromyalgia, and have had several Mild Traumatic Brain injuries, and survived a lot of abuse torment and assault in my childhood. So last night was pay time…. The pain in my body had me wreathing and somewhere in the torment I began to awaken being extremely cold but not waking up enough to cover myself with a blanket again, having thrashed my bed and ending up with my blanket on the floor. It got to the point where I finally woke up enough that I felt like I was almost hyothermic. I knew I was in trouble by then and finally woke up enough to pull up the blankets. By this morning when I woke up, and got up I felt horrid and my day was rough from the very start. I began to read Daniel and of Nebuchadnezzar the King of Babylon, how he was punished by God for seven years, spending those years in the fields like a beast, until he was humbled and recognized that God is the Lord! Me thinking “My God this has been 50 years for me and I am a believer!” Nebuchadnezzar was going to roast the servants of God who would not bow down to his false god, Shadrach Meshach, and Abed-nego. Who were thrown into the super heated furnace but had confessed to Nebuchadnezzar that their God would deliver them! BUT even if he didn’t Deliver them they will not worship his god, nor bow to his image.
So why should I write this? Well I am disabled by an invisible disease I cant work, and I’m hurting inside as I suffer this and wish that I could just get up and go back to work! I wonder and stew inside, I don’t want to be a government cur. I don’t want to be in a place of poverty and welfare and living like a dreg or refuse.
I know that’s all a bit harsh but the GOV could do so much more than they do and the stigma is horrid!
Though I was handicapped I worked hard and made my way, now I am more handicapped and there is no way for me to make my way that I know of. So I tell the Lord… Its time, its time for me to come home! Often I think he hears me and is ready to take me but then I wake up every morning and I’m still here. Then eventually I begin to realize that there must be an invisible reason that I am that there truly must be a point to my life though I can’t see it. So again today I confess my sins to God and ask for wisdom and mercy, mercy that I might just “rest my hope in him alone, and not strive about my life or my health or livelihood”.
That’s when I bumped into old Eb’s message on you tube. If you are like me and possessed by worry, and fear, which are very common in FM’ers and people with chronic illnesses Eb, Tom Lester has a few word to say to “Us” and God answers prayers with comfort and peace.
See Here 