Oh God how long have you known me? How long have you seen my struggles and my hopeless state of being while the world is strong and set about me as a mighty fortress?
You know my life, I see how weak I am not only in your sight, but in every aspect of life.How lowly and pitiful I am on this earth. Naked, poor, wretched and blind? No, more than that, more like, weak and broken minded (from my youth) broken abandoned rejected unloved unlovable untouchable like a degenerate person. Like a man with no mind. I’m certain that that is predominately it.
What can I do about it? My life is nearly over and just now I see these things. Who will stand to bring me help? Who will bring me healing? Who will rise up and say “yes it is all true, but life is here now, here to stay?”
Many sorrows cannot quench your love.
But I never knew love in my life, I have known sorrow shame and pain.
Once you said to me, “go back in order to go ahead” I went back Lord, way back to my childhood. But I am blind I don’t see, only glimpses nothing good nothing solid. What is it but brokenness? A broken child? A child with a mental illness? Or a child with a brain that has been damaged so damaged so slowed that he cannot function? cannot run, or sing, or play, just severely damaged stays alone. Stays alone he is alone… years go by…alone…broken mind alone…alone
Dec 26 17