Fibroman An Update

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Who needs sand to hide your head when you have Fibromyalgia anything will do

It’s okay to laugh.

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I saw a split photo once upon a time depicting a very pretty young woman with fibromyalgia  showing when “We see her V.S.  when we don’t.When Fibromyalgia lets its grip on her go briefly and she could be “Normal”  I so related to that photo,  though being anything but pretty or cute or sweet myself. What ever that matters I don’t know.  So here are a couple of my  Bad moment photos V.S. a couple of Good moment photos.

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Oops I guess I have only one Good moment photo on my laptop  so it will do for now. The bad moments need no explanation, the good one on the other hand was on a day when well I felt well enough to shoot this target at 1200 meters, that was a good day.

Recently I tried a couple of weeks of Massage to treat Fibromyalgia, bet everyone out there knows how that went, it went well as long as the therapist was massaging me / no that’s not quite true though. Some points in my legs were so bad she had me crying (okay I hid it but I was crying for real!) I couldn’t believe She found places in my good leg that hurt as much or worse than my bad leg,  I know fibromyalgia is supposed to be equal on both sides of the body, but what if your body in not equal on both sides and you have had some serious injuries on one side or the other,

So I’m indoors almost all weekend  so different for me, but right now the Alberta snow pack augmentation / Spray them all till they are dead Program, is on in full swing since the first of October or just prior to that. Between Edson where I live and Robb where I work we have had two weeks of British style Fog as a result ! Talk about Alberta weather modification/ climate control. Don’t believe me, do some solid research, google  Alberta weather modification or two or three such queries.

Back to Fibromyalgia Hubert Rondeau style hmmm what to say, the disease has ruined everything which it has not precipitated,  likely I’d never be a blogger, not have really learned to read without the desire 1. To seek Gods face via His Holy Word, and 2.then the gifting and calling  to attempt to write words, poems, and short stories in and for his honor.

Like I could do such a thing as that eh?

This evening I decided to have a shower, while standing there the hot water pouring down my back and the back of my legs  my muscles went into convulsions and cramps that drew a fairly loud shout Aggh aggh ouch ouch ouch ow ow…   from the deepest parts of my soul. Nearly buckling, but then regaining my composure I realized that the water was no hotter than at any other time, I retested it and made sure I wasn’t scalding myself, that’s easy enough to do too. Funny thing about this disease, I can take as much pain as anyone else maybe more in many cases,. I have dealt with this for so long that I’m  getting close to being invincible.

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Just Pretend Superman has a bandaged head to offset that black hair okay? Oh and no way I’m wearing a cape either!

Shower done, I came out of the washroom to find that it had gotten dark during my time therein.I turned on the lights as I walked to my bedroom suddenly realizing that within a few months Jesherin will be going away to live in the city and from then on I will literally be alone like this … forever… The thought wasn’t appealing, not even warm and fuzzy, but I have been there for a very long time now, and like the pain of the disease the pain of the loneliness and abandonment, and the solitude it often brings is pretty gross to put it mildly.

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So I borrowed a couple of things online to help me make my point!  I used to write all the time, I wrote SERVANT, PIERCED, STORM, THE PALACE, THE ROCK , and one other book which I cannot remember the title of… Huh! Nice huh?

Maybe if I weren’t such a loser I would have been a writer, and gone on to victory!

Woe! but, my victory  was two minutes ago and it will come again in a minute or two because, that’s how we live!  I lost most of my work, I’m sure I still have parts of my books  and a lot of my poems too, and  I sent over 100 poems to a site called Worlds Last Chance and they are published there under my name.

Am I lamenting my life? Well, I think all Chronic illness sufferers go through all the processes of loss mourning anger and so on to some degree every day. The reason in part for that is  we live in a different time frame than the rest of the world, and our memory, and memories are  as shattered and scattered as our lives tend to be. Its still October 2013-2014, and 2015, in my brain as much as it is 2016 in yours. We seize up, we get lost, we break down we get out of touch and out of focus, and we lose ground, and the world carries on as if we were invisible, and often rips us off as it runs us over!

Nice world Not!

So Here I sit laptop (on my lap) of course, thinking “I wonder if anyone will even read this?” No-one reads my blog anymore. Sure they think I’m nuts, this is only my 5th or the 10th blog site I have had in 7-10 years, and I deleted through frustration and guilt and shame  MY BEST WORK EVER!  because back then I had only ingested a few hundred pounds of Chemtrail fodder!

Oops I think I  said a bad word there.

I guess I’m trying to apologize to my  Fibro family because our testimonies are the only thing that keeps us going at times, many times I have watched your youtube stories and after an hour or so of identification with you in your sufferings I somehow feel better, not better as in  “healed”, but I know that I am not alone, and though I haven’t got a close friend in this, anywhere near me, most of the time I do have brothers and sisters who if we could be together would absolutely bear each others burdens, and give each other the love we all so desperately need.

Love you all!

Hubert Rondeau

Note: Superman stuff borrowed online too

 

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